Friday, August 29, 2014

Be not afraid: only...

My heart has been heavy since the passing of Robin Williams a few weeks ago. I have experienced the dark side of clinical depression. I have felt the weight of a burden too heavy to bear. I have been convinced that hope was gone.

I still can't bring life to the post that I've wanted to write these past two years, about that time and place. I can't make the words come properly, or fully explain the changes that have happened within me. Perhaps the words will come someday, or maybe they are only meant to be shared in person. (Ask me!)

I have seen the darkness, and I have been blinded by the light. I have felt the burden, and I have had it lifted from my shoulders. I have had joy stolen from me, but I have been rescued by the truth. 

There is always hope.

I would have despaired unless I had believed 
that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 

Wait for the Lord. 

Be strong and let your heart take courage.

Yes, wait for the Lord.

-Psalm 27

I know this blog has rose-colored things. Maybe it's made my life look neat and fashionable when it was in the midst of falling apart. I hope it didn't. I hope you've been able to see me for the person I really am, behind the smiling, carefully edited photos.

I am a broken human being, with a weak heart that is held together with tape and glue. But nothing in this life or the next can separate me from the love of Jesus.

I am His, and it is enough.

While I'm here, I'd just like to acknowledge that I am moving into a different phase of life. I've got a new career path, a scary birthday on the way, and something in my heart saying that it may be time to move on from AmandaBeth

I can't say goodbye for always. There are certainly many adventures yet to be had (you can follow along at iWrite and/or FlyGirl)... but I'm off to chase some new dreams. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a part of this dream. God bless.


Photos by Lydia Flynn

Monday, August 4, 2014

Summertime Stillness

I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love,
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.

~ T.S. Eliot

I can't believe the summer is half over, and that August looms ahead of me. Summertime is one of those things I always look forward to and am much too busy to fully enjoy. It's usually gone before I really tasted it. Fortunately, after the craziness that was this past school year, even the busy state I am in seems relatively peaceful and I have been able to snatch a few real moments. The ocean has called me to herself, I've enjoyed a few good times with friends, and had a wonderful visit with my sister and my little nephew pumpkins. There have been good, true moments of stillness in the midst of the dance of life.

  • Blouse by EXPRESS - thrifted
  • Jeans by American Eagle - hand-me-down
  • Sandals by capelli New York - from Burlington Coat Factory
  • Bracelet handmade by my bosom friend
  • Earrings also a gift from said friend
  • Ring by Touchstone Crystal - gift from my aunt

What has your summer been filled with?

Here's hoping you've had moments of stillness in the midst of the summer rush, and that relief comes in the form of cool breezes (preferably across the ocean) and simple memories made.


Photos by Lydia Flynn

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Sea Fever

I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel’s kick and the wind’s song and the white sail’s shaking,
And a gray mist on the sea’s face, and a gray dawn breaking.

~ John Masefield

I finally dipped my toes into the atlantic ocean this week. It had been my plan to go to the beach first thing after finishing cosmetology school, but one thing led to another, and it was almost a month before I got down to beautiful Newport. My sister and were able to enjoy the sunshine as well as a ferocious breeze.... I also read a bit more of Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier (which is a masterpiece), gossiped with a mermaid, drove around spying on the mansions, and walked along the cliffs. It was wonderous.

This isn't what I wore to the beach, but it was a nautically inspired Sunday afternoon getup.
  • Cream Blouse by PETE & GRETA - gift from my aunt
  • Striped Skirt - used to be a dress, refashioned by me
  • Belt - thrifted
  • Red Shoes by SM NEW YORK - thrifted
  • Necklace - gift from a friend from the Dominican Republic
  • Gold Hoop Earrings - handmade by Kathy Snyder
  • Star Bracelet - hand-me-down
If you're an east or west coaster, have you been to the ocean yet? And if you live far away from the sea, how do you survive? Tell me your secrets.


Photos by Lydia Flynn

Monday, June 23, 2014

Just a note to say...

... I GRADUATED! (Among other things.)

Click over to FlyGirl to hear more about what I've been up to the past month, and what's coming up. Hopefully I'll be in blogland more often. Thank you, as always, for following along.

-Amanda xo